The troubles, pains, and traumas of the past that we cannot—or more accurately, will not or are unable to—let go of, are like a millstone around our neck. If we imagine standing at the edge of a pool that we must swim across in order to advance toward a state of peace and love, we have to jump in and start swimming. But with the stone of our past around our neck, we won’t even be able to take a few strokes. Until we release the weight of the past, we cannot move forward.
We must always be aware that we are exactly where we need to be. The past consists of experiences, lessons we had to go through. They are just lessons, nothing more. However, we color our past with emotions, pain, anger, resentment, judgment, always seeing ourselves as the victim. And in a rather masochistic way, we keep reviving our past over and over again, torturing ourselves and those around us. By emotionally reliving the past, we feed and give power to the pain. In a way, it’s like self-violence, something we repeat again and again.
There is absolutely no need for this. We need to understand that in a certain moment, we acted and experienced things in a way that seemed right or possible to us at that time. The same goes for the people who hurt us back then. Simply put—that’s just how it was, and now it’s over.
Let’s start letting go of thoughts about the past; let’s stop digging through old garbage. When we let go of the past, it begins to lose its power. Whatever we give our attention to grows stronger. So, let’s consider what we want to focus on now, in this moment, the moment in which we truly live. We can only create in this moment, not in the past. Let’s direct all our attention to what fills us with peace and love. At any given moment, we can only think one thought, never multiple at once. However, the sequence of thoughts can be so quick that it seems like we’re thinking of many things simultaneously. But we are fortunate to be able to focus on a particular thought or let it go.
On a symbolic level, cleaning out closets, drawers, basements, and garages can help us in letting go of the past. Here we can see how ready we truly are for change. Will we be able to throw away clothes we haven’t worn in a long time, appliances that are broken, spare car parts for a vehicle we’ve already sold? Or will we think everything might be useful again one day, and put everything back, filling the space that could otherwise hold new things?
Often, we see what we should tackle, but we don’t feel like it. We procrastinate, convincing ourselves that we’ll get to it someday, just not right now, because we first need to take care of this or that. We treat ourselves in the same way. But we should ask ourselves, what purpose does this serve? Why are we afraid? Why are we really procrastinating and making excuses? Are we afraid of losing our identity, which is dictated by our ego? Will we lose the attention of others if we stop “complaining” and feeling sorry for ourselves?
Let’s be honest with ourselves! If our decision is to “swim across the pool,” then let’s do it. Let’s approach the task with determination, honesty, and without fear. Simply hoping things will get better is not enough. Whoever feeds only on hope will starve to death.
The past, whatever it may be, is behind us. We cannot change anything that has already happened. It’s ours, we co-created it, so let’s embrace it and forgive it. Let it go. And as we stop giving it attention, it will lose its power, fade, and eventually disappear. Only the memory will remain, and we’ll remember only the lessons we’ve learned—and that’s the end of it. Then, we’ll be able to live in the present moment, here and now, and with imagination and focused thoughts, we’ll create the future.